


Pretty Hurts

by frolicking (flickeringheartbeat)



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, Gen, beauty queen rosé rise!, i miss them ok pls, pageant! au, painful high school flashback, they could pass as girlfriends too who knows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:47:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22834273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flickeringheartbeat/pseuds/frolicking
Summary: Perfection is a disease of the nation.-prompt: rosie takes a challenge to fight back the insecurity within her, which was brought by the horror she experienced during high school.
Relationships: Lalisa Manoban | Lisa/Park Chaeyoung | Rosé
Kudos: 9





	Pretty Hurts

_5 years ago_

Basked in the bedroom, Roseanne spent her time watching random videos on Youtube, from a trending MythBusters episode down to her favorite pop idols’ music videos. Beyoncé’s one of them, and she’s excited to watch her new music video.

> [ **Beyonc** **é – Pretty Hurts (Video)** ](youtube.com/watch?v=LXXQLa-5n5w)

She thought it’s her idol’s best music video yet.

Throughout the video, she was just watching intently and suddenly remembering the memory of the hearsays about pageants from her relatives. There’s was one time when Roseanne went with her mom at a beauty spa house and a woman in her thirties suggested Roseanne’s mother that she needs to expose her daughter to pageants because _she has potential_. After all, the women of Park have outstanding genes in terms of beauty, might as well brains.

Roseanne’s mother thought it’s a good idea to push the agenda of Roseanne joining a beauty contest and after hearing that, she would just sprint to her bedroom and lock herself from her family. She’s a socially awkward girl who can’t even make friends within her neighborhood, let alone the idea of joining a beauty contest would only create horror in her adolescent years.

* * *

_Now_

Roseanne’s been used to the modern culture in a metropolitan city. Busy streets and people are living in daily competition to survive in their way—be it in work, business, and education. Currently taking creative writing in one of the prestigious universities, Roseanne always felt lonely for she remains closeted in her dormitory.

It suddenly changed after a student just her age moved to her dorm. The name’s Lalisa, an exact opposite to Roseanne. Fortunately, unlike any other girls that Roseanne has interacted, Lisa's been the nicest among them. Sometimes she’d take her to the park for unwinding, and library because both of them are bookworms.

After dinner, Lalisa showed her a pair of exquisite pumps to Roseanne. “Familiar?” Roseanne slowly nods. “They are usually used in beauty pageants.”

“Exactly!” Lisa claps. “I’m glad you know it.” She throws it in front of Roseanne, only to be returned with a quizzical look from her. “Are you kidding me?”

The confident dormmate winks at her, hiding a paper on her back. “Should I take that as a yes?”

Roseanne purses her lips and steps away from her. “No. I’m not going to join that damn contest, Lisa. Just no.” She shuts the door and Lalisa sighs in defeat.

Roseanne lifts the window, seeing the city enveloped by the dark sky. The darkness inside her room slowly consumes the peace she wanted, so she immediately switches her lampshade on and opens her medium-sized chest. The chest contains the scribbles she made during her middle school years, and she decided to read them tonight. There were essays, random thoughts, and unorganized diaries until a crumpled paper was left.

Roseanne fixes the crumpled portions, reading it as she flattens the paper.

* * *

_  
**the seventeen shining radiant pieces;** _

_Queen Bey said pretty hurts. It’s a broad discussion to break down the song, as well as the video one by one._ _Also, mum is too gullible into believing I can do great at pageants. Wearing heels could hurt my leg muscles, and smiling throughout the program is even unbearable to imagine._

_I tried to watch the video, again and again, then I realized I’m a part of this song._

_Some people fuel your self-doubt. Insecurity kills your self-esteem. Just because I am skinny and ghostly pale doesn’t mean that I take it as a compliment. By how bitter those words escaped your mouth have turned me into a crying mess for a week, doubting why I was built like this. I have no idea why, ‘cause I know I am healthy and happy._

**_But you destroyed me._ **

_Yet perhaps, mom was right…_

_Diamonds come in different sizes and forms, but it’s always shining and remains valuable._

_But, do ~~I matter~~?_

* * *

Her heart clenches as she reads the paper, hoping that Lisa will forgive her the moment she goes out from her bedroom and beg for forgiveness. It took a crumpled paper for Roseanne to realize that Lisa is trying to help her boost her confidence and guilt fuels her regret. _It was a long night for Roseanne and her indecisiveness._

A soft knock on the door causes Roseanne to jerk her hand, causing a temporary pain to her elbow as it hits her bedframe. “Rosie?”

She gets up in an instant and opens the door, revealing Lalisa holding Leo and Luca. Roseanne takes Luca and dusts off the floor as they sit with their legs crossed. Few honks are audible from the cars passing on the street and the sky gets darker, the dark lilac hue vanishing from the sight. Roseanne hands over the scratch paper to her dormmate. “It would be a good idea if you read it. I’m sorry about this evening.”

Lisa folds the paper into a quarter and keeps it away from Leo and Luca. “My fault. I shouldn’t have pushed you—”

“I’ve been insecure about myself ever since high school, and I couldn’t believe that for someone who’s an exceptionally awkward person like me would end up here, surrounded by crowds of brilliant people.” Roseanne pets Luca’s head and continues narrating about her life.

“My mom used to bring me together with my older sister at beauty salons and spa houses. I usually hear pageant-related chatters that even one time, a hairdresser suggested that we should join beauty contests. Mom has quite an impressive knowledge about _missosology_ that’s why she thought it would be cool.

“When someone says your daughter is beautiful, it’s either you blush or react in denial. But I guess mothers blush too much inside when strangers compliment their daughters, right?”

Lisa nods and cackles since she relates a lot. She continues listening to Roseanne. “I brush my hair, my teeth are nice, and my hair’s making me extra beautiful. That’s what I always think before getting to school: it changed during high school. They’d make fun of my eyes; they’d squint their eyes to mock me. There was that time when I overheard two people that I look like a walking stick. After that, I walk home doubting about my appearance, it affected my academic performance which…” Roseanne’s voice starts to croak, “I practice in front of the mirror, talking to myself in a way that I’m safe from shortcomings.

“I walk with my gaze glued on the ground and… tried my best to ignore the beautiful girls with big eyes and fit body. It was hard.”

Her voice diminishes as she finished retelling her past, wipes her tears and smiles at Lisa. “Thank you for being nice Lisa, but I think I can’t join pageants.”

Lisa gently places Leo beside her since the cat is already sleeping and pats Roseanne’s shoulder. “Nothing’s wrong, Rosie. But care to tell me why? I mean aside from… avoiding from your bullies, I think.”

Roseanne faces Lalisa with a hopeless look. “They might think I was trying hard to fit in, Lisa.” After hearing those words, Lisa gets up and carries her two pet cats. “I placed the screening form on the dining table. You need a good sleep, Rosieposie. Good night.” She hugs Roseanne and exits the bedroom.

-

It took two days for Roseanne to decide after her busy days in creative writing. The form remains untouched until Roseanne took it to fill-up. She told Lalisa that time, making the latter jumped in joy. Screening day will be two days after, and Lalisa trained Roseanne the basics of posing and walking.

Most of the time, Lisa's problem would be Roseanne’s walk and her poor posture, but when it comes to Q&A, she’s blown away by how eloquent Roseanne answers every question she gave. She’s a creative writing student, why would she be surprised.

The screening day went fine for Roseanne and she arrives at their dorm with good news. Mixed feelings linger her insides as she can’t stop fanning herself. “Lis, I was one of the selected, oh my god.”

Lisa screams in joy and hugs her tightly. She laughs so hard after seeing Roseanne in high heels. “See, you’re unaware that you arrived here wearing heels. This is it, sister!” Roseanne responds in a fit of giggles, still unfazed from what happened this morning.

-

Roseanne together with the chosen ladies rehearsed for two weeks straight. They practice at five in the afternoon until ten in the evening, making most of them exhausted and looking done with this work. Most of the days Roseanne would just barge inside their dorm and threw herself on the bed without taking a bath. Fortunately, her schedules for this semester aren’t a pain in the ass.

There was one thing she found about herself during the rehearsal—friendly. She’d say _hi_ and wave at every candidate arriving after her, and even dared to chatter with them during the break. Everyone is nice but their moderator. He moves so feminine but he orders directions and instructions to the candidates like a bitch.

“I think I know why you walk like that. This is not a crusade walk, girlie. Posture up!”

Sometimes he gets too offensive and Roseanne would just secretly avert her gaze from him, witnessing too much culture shock for a week. “How many times do I have to say that you have to flaunt your curves? The screening committee is wrong about this.”

“Cut the carbs, resist sugar, and avoid _mukbang_ , ladies! Sacrifice is temporary! Remember, the pageant is coming nearer!”

Since it’s a university pageant, moderators are not allowed to meddle with the candidates’ nutrition. Lisa would sneak in the auditorium where the practice happened and back in their dorm, she teaches Roseanne how to maintain great posture by balancing her back and arms using a defense wooden stick. “You’ll get used to it. Trust me.”

Four days before the pageant, Roseanne wore the tailored gown made for the pageant’s candidates alone. “Okay, now you have to walk that you can slightly feel the thin cape on your back anymore. Next thing, slowly flaunt your curves and pose. Practice it again and again, trust me you won’t regret it.”

-

Roseanne wakes up from backache. She moans and lifts her hands in a stretch, small tears escaping her eyes due to the painful contraction of her thighs. She went home at eleven last night and fortunately, Lalisa prepared her things.

“Be there tonight, Lis. My family can’t come over because it’s my grandma’s birthday today.” Roseanne called her parents regarding the pageant two days ago. She heard her mother crying from happiness. _“You don’t know how happy I am, honey!” “Do well, my angel!”_ Her mother wanted to watch the pageant so bad, but after all, grandparents are the top priority.

-

Lisa is assisting Roseanne’s make-up artist tonight. The cheers from other schools are piercing the candidate’s ears backstage. The production crew is ready, assisting the candidates for their production number. Roseanne prays as she holds Lisa’s hands.

“Come what may.” She whispers. Lisa fixes the stray strands on her face. “Indeed. Now go, own the stage tonight.”

-

The place roared with cheers and supporting screams of people. Roseanne does everything she trained for two weeks, gracing her walk and flaunting her curves.

“Roseanne Park, twenty-two, School of Arts!” Walking for three steps, she turns a flawless 180 degree, poses with her sexy back, left palm resting on her hip with elegance, earning louder cheers from people as she exits the stage.

A series of changes have followed, from representative costume to nightgown segment. Besting the nightgown segment, she waits for her turn to answer in the preliminary question and answer portion. Some candidates’ answers didn’t match the questions given to them until it’s Roseanne’s time to stand beside the host.

“Seems like she is your favorite candidate for tonight!” The host says, hyping the crowd. _This is how it feels like when you’re appreciated by everyone_ , she mentally notes. She shrugs her shoulders cutely in return, her mind focusing on the incoming question.

“Candidate number seven, how was the experience tonight?”

She smiles, showing her pearly white teeth. “It was an amazing experience to be here in front of people tonight. Because... this person standing in front of you is a closeted writing student consumed by her insecurities and was always afraid to risk. It took me a while to realize that I'm not trying to fit in, but being confident to flaunt with what I have right now."

Hearing the answer, the crowd was in shock, considering the question is purely basic. The majority are in favor of her and she couldn’t help but blush and grin when she returned to her position along with other ladies. Exiting the stage, Roseanne hugs Lisa and her make-up artist. Lisa’s been squealing ever since she heard Roseanne’s answer and pushes her dormmate after few retouches. “Push further sister! You’re doing great and I believe in you!”

-

From sixteen candidates, only four will remain. Roseanne was called last, and shock is an understatement to describe what she felt after hearing her name. After the eliminated candidates return backstage, the host hypes the crowd. “Four beautiful and brilliant candidates are standing beside me, and I can’t wait to announce the crowned winner soon. Are you ready for the final Q and A?”

Screams of _yes_ are heard and the host didn’t even wait for the crowd to calm down as he immediately calls Roseanne’s number. “Let’s start on the right side! Candidate number seven, kindly step forward.”

She steps forward and picks the paper from the glass bowl. The crowd calms down from their excitement to hear her articulate answer. The host clears his throat. "Candidate number seven, to what extent are you going to emphasize the importance of self-love?"

Roseanne exhales and smiles sweetly on the crowd. "Good evening..." She adjusts the microphone, "I believe that self-love comes in appreciation of your body, no matter how unproportionate or perfect it is. Self-love comes in wearing your cute v-neck dress because it fits well with your small chest, or wearing an off-shoulder dress which provides you a nice curvature of your big chest. Self-love is like significant empowerment that we're perfect in our own way—at any aspect to our whole being. I think that's all, thank you."

She smiles and makes everyone inside the gymnasium wrapped around her finger for the place has once again occupied with cheers and whistles. The majority of the crowd chanted almost endlessly, rooting for her to win the pageant. “Number seven! Number seven! Number seven! Number seven!”

The rest of the three candidates’ turns have followed, and the cheer goes louder and more deafening after the two candidates have remained—Roseanne and candidate number ten. She can feel her heart beating rapidly and adrenaline rushed through her body. Never had she expected to come this far—being the crowd’s favorite and impressing the judges from her honest and articulate answers, giving her the Best in Q&A sash, as well as the Best in Night Gown. Candidate number 10, however, is also a strong contender. Winning Miss Congeniality and Photogenic, Best in Production Number and Representative Costume, it’s up on the judges’ decision of who deserves the crown the most.

They hold hands, smiling at each other while waiting to hear the winner. The crowd becomes more impatient as they chant louder—some are rooting for Roseanne, and the other candidate. A few seconds after, usherettes are lining up beside the stage, cradling with a bouquet of roses and the host finally receives the envelope.

“Let’s make it fast but I need to hear your bet first!”

More deafening screams are heard and the host opens the envelope. “Our Miss MU is…”

“Candidate number… ten!”

Candidate number ten couldn’t believe what she heard as she covers her mouth and screams. Roseanne engulfs her in a hug, with cheers and whistles from the crowd. Candidate number ten cries in doubt. “But you deserved better!” She looks at Roseanne as her tears continue to roll on her cheeks.

Roseanne hushes the newly crowned beauty queen, rubbing her back in circles. “You don’t have to worry! I have a different purpose, and this one’s my least priority. Congratulations!”

She receives a smaller tiara, another sash, and a bouquet, and this night couldn’t be much happier for her if it wasn’t because of her mother who believes in her, Lisa’s consistent support, and her willingness of pushing away her insecurity brought by her horrible past to welcome confidence.

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t care how you react to this one-shot, but it means so much to me because joining pageant was one of the factors which boosted my confidence and lessen my insecurity. I joined a pageant with my mediocre height and semi-hairy legs, ladies! 
> 
> Also, pretty hurts was such a good song, Queen Bey is killing the vocals, and the acting is flawless. The message is empowering and I’m thankful that song exists.


End file.
